Operation **Reclaim** Loveland

Going Numb by Protyus A. Gendher

Going Numb 
I’m going numb 
Once again, I turn on the news station 
Another grim milestone, another tragic loss 
Another headline reads the same about who can’t be boss 
Every story sounds the same as the night that came before 
And I didn’t used to watch the news but the world turned overboard 
Three months ago, an eternity now 
From a life spent grabbin’ bootstraps, and bowing down 
Jugglin’, hustlin’,  
Tell me where the money went 
And there was not a lot of time to flip on the news  
And see what the rest of the world was up to 
And don’t get me wrong, I tried to keep up 
Too woke to think all my friends were street thugs 
It’s not like I had my head buried in the sand 
My time was overloaded from meeting demands 
Or the money machine would turn me on the street again 
So, at the beginning of the year 2020 
I was busting my hump making ends meet 
Working more than 60 hours a week 
To put a little distance between me and the street 
To build a little foundation under me 
Dare I even think of starting to dream? 
All of a sudden, I go to work, and there’s no one to serve 
Sidework’s all been done and my coworkers unnerved 
An eerie presence settled in and made itself at home 
As I shockingly had time to do research on my phone 
The coronavirus headlines that once made my heart jump 
That once had me tearing up, my throat a painful lump 
That once had me second guessing everything I felt 
A sore throat or a cough could be our entryway to hell 
Those numbers that I cried about, now seem so puny 
As there are such bigger reasons this country has me fuming 
And I knew from that beginning this country wouldn’t do the right thing 
We don’t know how to pick what’s right 
When the bullies come out, we just give up the fight 
We stood with Emma till our legs were tired 
Until we felt better that these kids were admired 
But didn’t do a damn thing to change  
The need for active shooter drills in the classroom of today 
Now March 2020, and all the kids are sent home 
Not even allowed on the streets to roam 
But we acted for years like they HAD to be there 
As targets to those so privileged it’s scary 
Now no one can claim we didn’t have the tools 
To keep our kids safe from predators in school 
But this country doesn’t do the right thing 
It’s not how we function; it’s not in our genes 
American education isn’t about what kids learn 
It’s about making sure the caregivers take their turn 
To wear themselves thin as a cog in the machine 
That requires all of this “Attending” 
It’s hard for us each to show up for a cause 
When two jobs and three side gigs leave no time to pause 
Until the world came to a stop 
As the death toll numbers stretch higher and higher 
People with guns demand we all go outside 
Because they need a haircut and a beer on a Friday night 
They just shrug their shoulders and say “everyone dies” 
It’s what I deserve. It’s my right. 
See this country doesn’t choose the right thing 
We don’t take care of each other; we don’t take responsibility 
In this culture of never ending “me, me, me” 
In this never-ending nightmare fueled by capitalist greed 
America is a spoiled brat 
Why else would it work like that? 
Instead of doing what we should 
We do what makes us feel good 
What makes us believe that we’re already right 
Because the biggest myth is American enlightenment 
We shirk responsibility 
And try to get out of things 
Like a three-year-old that doesn’t know better 
After 244 years, we are the jester 
Nearly half of the country voted for this 
Nearly half are so greedy they’ve surrendered all wits 
And no amount of parable reference could prevent it 
So now I’m numb to the headline news 
That continues to tell of the ways that we’re doomed 
And for just a moment I started to believe  
That enough had broken for us to do something 
Because violence erupted in the street 
After Chauvin’s gang murdered George Floyd with their knees 
And all of the reports of the shock and outrage 
Like I haven’t seen a story like this every day 
Across my Facebook page 
Like I didn’t write a story just 3 years ago 
Begging for black lives to matter you know? 
But I got my hopes up, thinking maybe this was it 
Maybe the money machine is finally too broke to fix 
And in the blink of an eye 
The last story of the night 
Makes sure it makes the cops look like the good guy 
And something inside me died. 
And every day since, I’ve been tuning in 
And watch as we normalize Zooming our friends 
And watch as we normalize working from home 
And homeschooling kids, and living remotely 
And normalize masses of thugs with guns 
Marching on state capitals for fun 
And normalize words of supremacy 
Showing up in the president’s tweets 
And normalize the pressure to return 
To shopping and spending while the world burns 
And normalize a death toll rising 
And normalize  
Before my eyes 
All of the broken like it works 
Feeding us cognitive dissonance in their words 
Until I almost don’t remember that it hurts 
Disbelief given over to numbness 
I keep turning it on hoping to see something 
Different 
What if we normalize doing what’s right 
Without quarantined masses pouring outside 
Without the teargas and weapons of war 
And returning to the mechanized madness of before? 
What if we normalize a living wage? 
So, parents could parent, and kids could engage? 
What if we normalize wearing a mask? 
To cut our country’s death toll in half? 
What if we listen to people who lead? 
And use science and research to create policy? 
But that’s not what Americans do 
So, I go numb when I turn on the news. 

You deserve a Poetry Break!