Check Yourself – Before you wreck yourself
These ideas are so much better Shared!!
Develop a reaction to look at yourself first.
When something seems amiss, ask if you’re the source. When you feel in conflict, ask how you are contributing. When you feel targeted, ask which missiles you’ve launched.
It’s very easy to recognize when we are hurt, it’s harder to tell when we’ve hurt others, especially if those others are masking, trying not to upset you, trying not to start a conflict.
When conflict does happen, especially in relationships, there have usually been a series of minor transgressions that preceded the conflict. If you’re surprised when the conflict happens, consider the idea that the transgressions that came before were not against you, but rather by you.
Really, it’s probably both.
By being open to checking yourself, by being willing to address behaviors and choices that may negatively impact those around you,
- you reduce the severity of the conflict,
- you create space for gentle honesty,
- you minimize the damage that comes from defensiveness and denial.
When checking yourself becomes a habit, conflicts are dramatically reduced, as are the behaviors that lead to them.
Being unwilling to check yourself makes you inapproachable, heightens the conflict, and creates distance between the two (or more) in conflict.
If a conflict arises, remind yourself to be accountable.
If you feel like lashing out in a conflict, ask for a moment to get your head and heart around the facts.
Then…
Use the tools.
Operation **Reclaim** Loveland 
What do you think?