Survivor Literacy

More Happy Child

More Happy Child

I’ve been using The Happy Child for a couple of weeks now, and nothing has changed my relationship with my kiddo more, and certainly not this fast. My child seeks me out now, finding me emotionally safe, and we’ve entered each other’s worlds. They express deep thoughts to me. They share their fears, and have finally started talking about things that traumatize and bother them. They are actively involved in their growth and healing and at last they are trusting me to be too.

What’s more, I now understand many of the things that were working against this process. I have learned to adopt new behaviors and responses, that totally align with my values and inner-self, that have had radical results on our happiness.

Through this, the culture of my home is changing. As my partner and I watch the short videos (usually 15 seconds to 6 minutes, most of the videos are under 2 minutes so far), we find ourselves processing our own childhood, and ongoing generational trauma.

I’ve found it’s best to watch some lessons multiple times. Once, just to introduce the material and experience which triggers pop up in the lesson. The second time I work on actively processing my triggers, while investigating how I’ve negatively impacted my child through the same behaviors/mechanisms of our relationship. The second viewing I’ll have my partner (and sometimes my kiddo) watch the lesson as well. We take time to talk about our trauma. We pause whenever we need to. We ask questions. We talk about our mistakes in parenting. We even role play how to do it differently, and talk about how we’ll approach situations differently in the future.

Even if my child doesn’t understand all of the logic behind it, in the role play, and brainstorming examples, they experience the shift, and they embody how different the new approaches feel. This helps them trust the new responses I want them to expect from us. It also gives us a chance to talk about times that didn’t go so well, and make apologies when appropriate.

THAT, has provided a platform for my child to tell me how those situations made them feel, and for them to safely process their trauma experiences.

In processing my own trauma, I’ve been able to have some long overdue conversations with my 22 year-old, who lived through many a traumatic event with me. It enables me to address times when I know that they didn’t get what they needed. It gives us a language around discussing how much more they deserved, and how much more they can expect from me now.

I cannot express enough how dynamic this change has been, and it’s all based in really good science.

This is the resource I wish I had when I was raising my 22 year-old, and I can’t imagine parenting without it now. I know The Happy Child is available in the Play Store, and I believe it’s available as an apple app too.

10/10 Recommend

Happy Healing

Toxicity Toolkit 8 – Week 4 – Praise

Toxicity Toolkit 7 – Week 3 – Untrue Narratives

Toxicity Toolkit 6 – Week 2 – Family Bill of Rights

Toxicity Toolkit 5 – Week 1 – Family Values Exercise

Toxicity Toolkit 3 – The First Month

Toxicity Toolkit 15 – Week 9 – Love Bombing

Toxicity Toolkit 2 – Build Your Toolkit

Toxicity Toolkit 1 – Start Here

Toxicity Toolkit – Holiday Preparation

Forgiveness

Beneficial Negativity

Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 28 – The Happy Child

Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 27 – TEAM

Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 26 – Do Overs

Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 25 – Letting Go

Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 24 – Encanto

Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 23 – Self Care

Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 22 – Being Approachable

Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 21 – Empowerment

Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 20 – Setbacks

Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 19 – The Silent Treatment

Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 18 – Ups and Downs

Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 17 – Being Handled

Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 16- Check off lists

Grieving Our Friends While They’re Still Alive

AIQ- Gaslighting

Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 15 – Tiptoeing

Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 14- Backhanded Compliments

Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 13 – Themes and Patterns

Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 12 – Boundaries