First job and a new guy- finding a stasis
After that time I ran away, I pushed very hard to be allowed to get a job, and Mom pushed hard in return. Eventually, I just started filling out job applications, and I got an interview at a western wear store.
Somehow the obligatory nature of the interview compelled her compliance. Capitalism for the win, am I right?
I also suggested that I would be eating her food less, and buying my own clothes, etc. We had also reached a point where she wanted to control me, but she didn’t want to be around me. I absolutely used that to my advantage.
I got the job, and I was thrilled because it came with a 10% employee discount on clothes that I still wouldn’t be able to afford, and it paid me minimum wage. The entire store smelled of leather and denim.
I learned about the different types of toe in cowboy boots, and different kinds of hats. I learned to label and stock things.
I was not a complete loser, and that really boosted my confidence.
Mr. Moneybags
Then this guy came in looking for boots. I showed him boots, and hats, and shirts, and he bought a bunch of stuff and asked me for my number. It was like a dream come true. He was 23.
I asked Mom for permission to date him, and she initially said “no.” She did a number on me when I ran away, but she also got a message that I wasn’t just going to be compliant all of the time, and this encouraged her to bend a little bit.
She had one conversation with him over the phone and then I had permission.
It gets worse.
He was an over-the-road, long-haul truck driver.
He’d be gone for 3-4 weeks then he’d be home for a couple of days before taking off again. We had regular chats on the phone, and he got me one of those fancy pagers that you could leave a voicemail for, and it had a 1-800 number to check messages.
It was a leash, but it sure made me feel special. I also loved that Mom couldn’t control it, because it didn’t come from her.
He had a matching pager, and leaving each other messages was free, so we’d leave love-note messages whenever we could.
There was a timer on it though. He knew my schedule, and he knew if I had time to check the messages. He’d get pretty upset if I didn’t respond quickly enough. I learned pretty fast to prioritize that pager.
Dating
He didn’t go to school with me, so he didn’t know that I wasn’t datable.
When he’d get to town, he’d take me out. He always made a big deal about how much was being spent, and how the money being spent wasn’t a big deal to him, because he was Mr. Moneybags.
He’d tell me how good I had it because we ate at the Armadillo, or somewhere else that he felt was pricey. He would ask me how much I liked it. He needed me to perform how special it made me feel.
He “lived” with his parents, but considering that he was only home for a few days a month, that made a lot of sense. He really lived in his truck, which had the full bunk apartment in it.
He was incredibly proud of his truck, and made a pretty big deal about how much he took care of the truck and how much money he spent on the truck.
After dinner, I’d let him fold me up like a pretzel in the bunk of his rig, then he’d take me home.
He was my date to Jr. Prom. We stayed for 2 dances and talked to no one, then headed for the swanky room he’d reserved for us.
Wasn’t I so lucky to have someone want me.
Short-lived
I worked at the western wear store for less than a month. In that time, I was never allowed behind the counter or up in the office.
Nevertheless, I came into work one day, and the boss brought me up into the office and sat me down.She said that there was money missing from the safe, and they had proof that it was me, and they were letting me go.
I tried to argue it, but it was clear that she wasn’t going to respond to reason. She refused to present me with the “proof.”
I was devastated, and was trembling when I signed my termination paperwork.
Mom was pretty smug about me being fired.
Survivor Literacy 
What do you think?