The Toxicity Toolkit – Week Seven – The F* It Bucket

Week Seven

These ideas are so much better Shared!!

Letting Things Go

Week Seven: The F* it Bucket

Audio Version

So far, you’ve created foundations for a safe non-toxic home; you’ve worked to increase positive behaviors and reduce toxic behaviors.

You’ve looked within to know yourself, and your behaviors, and to address how your behaviors impact those around you.

You’ve worked to create a community and language in your home that supports healthy interactions and fulfilling relationships.

Now it’s time to let things go. While it’s true that some behaviors need to be understood and stopped, it is impossible to control every situation, and it’s unethical to control other people, so you’re going to have to let some things go.

The Exercise

Get everyone in the family a “Bucket.”

It doesn’t have to be a bucket; it can be any container, a jar, an envelope, a cookie tin, an old pringles can. The vessel doesn’t matter, but whatever you pick, we’re going to call it your “bucket” for the purposes of this exercise.

Decorate your buckets together. Enjoy yourselves. Be fancy. Express yourselves. It’s your bucket.

Put your bucket in a safe place. Do not touch buckets that don’t belong to you.

When something happens during the week that disturbs you, preoccupies you, haunts you, or that you just find yourself struggling with, write it down. It can be as detailed or simple as you choose.

Ask yourself, “Can I do anything about this?” Answer honestly.

If you CAN do something to improve the matter, do it.

If you CANNOT do something to improve the matter, take the paper and crumple or fold it up. (You’ll likely know whether you are a crumpler or a folder. You do you.)

Then you chuck it,

in the F* IT Bucket.

And you take what’s occupying your mind and space, and you set it down.

You can come back to it later if something changes, but for now you are putting it away, so you can be in the moment, engaging in your ‘right-now.’

When a family member is stressing out about something, encourage them to go use their F* It Bucket.

All perspectives and exercises on this site are the creation and property of Protyus A. Gendher. If you find, anywhere in this site, content that you find to be ableist, sexist, racist or otherwise harmful to a population, please alert the creator at protyusagendher@gmail.com.