Life Keeps Lifing- I can’t keep up
So, I’ve had a post in the works for over a week now. It’s long. It’s profound. It’s unfinished.
I find myself coming to terms with the fact that whatever is going on inside my body, I am less able now than I have been. I cannot do all of the things. I cannot meet all of the deadlines. I HAVE to be super selective in giving away my spoons.
I have 2 MRIs coming up on 7/20, specifically looking for a Cerebral Spinal Fluid Leak and Multiple Sclerosis. Waiting and not knowing are quite difficult. In the time since my last post, I’ve gone from feeling afraid of a potential MS diagnosis (I did not see this coming, but it turns out there’s a higher population of people with EDS in people with MS because collagen affects myelination) to being afraid that they find nothing.
My youngest just had their tonsils and adenoids removed. It’s a routine surgery that has absolutely rocked our home, and my baby is in so much pain.
The week before their surgery I worked 54 hours, thinking I could run on the pure willpower I had relied on in the past. Friday night I almost fell down the stairs because I had nothing left.
So I have to be less.
Want to know why you can’t get through to your children?
My oldest goes in to have their ACL rebuilt from their hamstring this Friday.
How can I be less- for me- and more- for those I love?
How can I ask to reduce my time at work when they need me more, and I’m already taking 5.5 days off this month? How do I ask for accommodations when all I have is a Hypermobility Syndrome diagnosis that nobody understands, the EDS diagnosis is likely more than a year off, and despite having super crummy symptoms, nothing neurological has been confirmed (and might not be even after the MRIs)?
How do I put together a lifestyle plan to get on top of this when life just keeps lifing?
Operation **Reclaim** Loveland 
What do you think?