Operation **Reclaim** Loveland

Control by Protyus A. Gendher

Control 
Control 
Birth Control 
Life Control 
Opportunity Control 
Self-Control 
I’m tired of being told that people with uteruses can’t be bold, 
That people with ovaries should behold,  
their offspring, 
As the most important thing, 
They’ve ever done or will ever do, 
And people perform it like it’s true. 
If born with a uterus, then society says, 
That your job is to reproduce, or you might as well be dead. 
A breeder without a face, not allowed sex without dread, 
Who’s only other option is to be chaste instead. 
And we live in a time with the technology to give us power. 
With advancements made every hour, 
That could blossom us as flowers, 
But instead, they make us cower. 
So many punished for not wanting children, 
For having dreams and trying to build them. 
So many hopes resting in pieces, 
Until we can make the laws release us. 
Did you know that a person can’t choose for themself, 
To have a tubal ligation without considerable wealth, 
Otherwise needing a husband’s permission, 
And their promise of perpetual submission? 
And what if you never desire to get married? 
Then you’re too broken to have rights, and that’s rather scary. 
Why can’t a person choose not to have kids, 
In a world with nearly 8 Billion people in it? 
“Well, you might change your mind, and want kids someday.” 
Are we pretending that giving birth is the only way, 
That someone could parent, should their mind be changed? 
It’s time we admit that this is deranged. 
“Well, what about your future husband?” 
“Well, what the fuck about him then?” 
He’s not a person who actually exists 
But he has more rights than me, DAMN that’s sexist.  
Now regulations vary from state to state, 
Which certainly serves to complicate, 
The barriers and boundaries to Tubal Ligate, 
So, the choice is make a child, or just masturbate. 
Many are told it can’t be done, unless they have two kids, 
But they don’t want any, so what the heck is this? 
Who benefits from making this choice not theirs? 
Having so little control is an absolute nightmare. 
They make you try everything else in the book 
There’s no way to just get off the hook 
In my journey to having my tubes removed 
Here’s a look at the hoops I had to jump through 
19 years old, having just had my first 
All on my own, which wasn’t the worst 
But while I felt I was up to the task 
Another so soon would be too much to ask 
So, I got “the Shot” which my system fought 
And for 6 months I bled without a day off
Soaking through tampons and pads used together 
Proved to me more than I thought I could weather 
A chemical reset using oral contraception, 
Left me looking for some other invention. 
I tried the pill because it seemed safer, 
But couldn’t always access, so had my second 18 months later. 
And could we pause for a moment, and just stop pretending, 
That condoms are the answer that everyone’s defending. 
I’ve tried loads of times to make them work, 
But when a penis doesn’t feel anything, it’s hard for it to squirt.  
It usually stops the show, right there on the spot 
Even with partners who are happy to put it on 
And with a latex allergy, for me it’s more expensive 
But we still act like it’s the default directive. 
Thankfully, my relationship turned for the worse, 
Which lead to fewer activities, that lead to giving birth. 
It took four more years for that relationship to end, 
Then spent seven after that having sworn off men. 
One of the very best perks of being gay 
Was avoiding this whole birth control game 
Then I spent a stint as a surrogate 
Which was easier than all of this birth control shit 
After that birth, my life truly mine 
I decided that at 33, it should finally be my time 
Fitted with an IUD, which embedded itself inside me 
My circumstances shifted, with the worst of timing 
It became painful, and more bleeding began. 
But my kids and I were living out of a van. 
I still had a job which consumed all of my time, 
At that point, it might have been easier to die. 
So, I did nothing, and continued to bleed, 
While scrambling to provide shelter and feed, 
For the two kids that I already had 
Without the help of either “Dad.” 
Finally, I found housing, and had time to think of me, 
With the IUD out, I was pregnant in two weeks.  
And for then my life was stable, but what does that really mean? |
When you’ve spent a couple years living on the street. 
We lost our home again, and moved to my grandmother’s basement, 
My partner at the time became filled with hatred. 
By the time we came back up for air, 
The abuse became too much to bear. 
So here I am, single again, 
Still being told that I should just try again. 
I was terrified of the implant which lasts for 4 years, 
The coverage would be great, but after the shot I had fear. 
So, they prescribed me the vaginal ring, 
That only monthly needs replacing. 
Before we could get to the second month, 
I had complications with the first one. 
A painful infection, or allergic reaction, 
Finally, met medical satisfaction, 
Finally, I made a strong enough case, 
After 4 pregnancies and many years wasted. 
Bilateral Salpingectomy and endometrial ablation, 
And every day since has been filled with elation, 
From the removal of my fallopian tubes, 
And they cauterized the inside of my uterus too. 
It caused me less pain than when my IUD went in, 
Or when they pulled it out again, 
Or the infection that scared the crap out of me, 
Or the never-ending months I spent bleeding. 
Thankfully, my boyfriend gave his consent, 
A demeaning hoop after the lifetime I spent. 
Finally, at the age of 38, 
My body was enough mine to castrate. 
The point that I’m making is that the choice should be yours, 
Without having to prove through suffering more and more, 
Without all the judgment that does no one good, 
And punishments for every time we get nude. 
The laws won’t change unless we make them, 
How many more generations being patient? 
It’s abuse through a system that created “women” as less 
And if we know better than why are we still doing this? 
And this binary permission gender mess, 
Keeps transgender people from getting needs met. 
So much bigger than just “Men and Women,” 
And the boxes they keep us checking off for them. 
Self-control like the bootstrap myth 
A scapegoat thought to reckon with 
It’s time that control belongs to the self, 
Even for those who don’t acquire wealth. 

Self Diagnosis is Valid
and it’s not my fault that I’m usually right.