Operation **Reclaim** Loveland

Being Approachable

The Importance of Emotional Regulation

Emotional Regulation, a tenet of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, refers to the ability and responsibility each individual has to regulate their own emotions.

By regulating our emotions we exercise control over the impact we have on others, and how we experience or perceive situations. Taking responsibility for emotional regulation makes us more rational, more approachable, more reasonable, and most importantly more effective.

Unfortunately, even as adults, nobody has trained many of us to regulate our emotions. Instead, so many of us had toxic behaviors modeled for us instead. I grew up around adults that unleashed emotional outbursts on the people around them, and made making them happy or calming them down the burden of those around them. In environments like this, children receive much more of the toxicity than other adults, because other adults have power too, and in these homes, children don’t.

Think for a minute about whether you take responsibility for your own emotions. When you experience negative emotions what do you do? Do you take a break for self-care to calm and regulate yourself, and return yourself to a rational state? Do you lash out at others expecting them to commit to behaviors or tasks to soothe and pacify you? Are you a mixed bag?

Take a moment to take stock of the moments in your life when you’ve regulated your own emotions in a situation. What methods did you use to calm, center, and ground yourself? What else might work. Make a list.

Then take a moment to reflect on moments when you might not have taken responsibility for your own emotions. How did you behave? Who were you interacting with? What did you expect of them? What could you have done to regulate your own emotions in these situations? What might have gone differently if you had?

When you start practicing emotional regulation on purpose, and on a regular basis you become infinitely more approachable to the people around you, allowing for deeply connective moments, and more honest and complete relationships.

Practicing our own emotional regulation as parents (for those of us who are) is essential to raising children to be adults who can self-regulate too. It also makes us calmer, more effective parents, who get to be resources to our children.

For more emotional regulation resources check out this worksheet and this website.

Happy Healing

Beneficial Negativity

Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 29 – More Happy Child

Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 28 – The Happy Child

Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 27 – TEAM

Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 26 – Do Overs

Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 25 – Letting Go

Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 24 – Encanto

Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 23 – Self Care

Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 21 – Empowerment

Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 20 – Setbacks

Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 19 – The Silent Treatment

Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 18 – Ups and Downs

Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 17 – Being Handled

Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 16- Check off lists

Grieving Our Friends While They’re Still Alive

AIQ- Gaslighting

Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 15 – Tiptoeing

Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 14- Backhanded Compliments

Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 13 – Themes and Patterns

Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 12 – Boundaries

Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 11 – Taking Their Side

Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 10 – Resilience

Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 9 – Gentle Gaslighter

Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 8 – Practice

!!!!!!!!THE WORKBOOK IS HERE!!!!!!!!

Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 7 – Gentle Honesty

Toxicity Toolkit – Gentle Reminders – 🙂

Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 6 – Bystanders

Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 5 – Check Yourself

Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 4 – Barriers