The Cult of the Ego and How Power Shapes Us- Addressing How the Pressures of Capitalism Favor the Narcissist.
I’ve been agonizing about where to start. There’s no singular jumping off point that everything unravels from. This is as close as we will come, as even the traditional, “I was born. I grew up…” is meaningless without deeper context.
So, what is the Cult of the Ego?
Think about a school playground filled with third graders.
Think about the conversations you’d hear, and how power would play out.
Think about who gets to initiate play, and who gets to make decisions.
Think about who gets left out, and why. Think of who is punished and how. Think of how catalyzed this all becomes if the grown ups are occupied.
Whoever yells the loudest gets their way.
Whoever uses the most force, receives the least resistance.
The least regulated win here.
Those who are willing to levy punishment at others when they don’t get their way determine the mode of operations – ESPECIALLY when there’s nobody to stop it.
I want to be fair here. I don’t have any studies to point to for this one, other than a lifetime of observations of cycles that are nearly impossible to break.
If you’re not aware of the interactions that I’m pointing to, I highly recommend that you look inward and spend some time reflecting on the role you’ve played in the playgrounds of your life.
A Bigger Picture
Let’s take these behaviors, (which stem from insecurity, frustration, lack of understanding, and which work for people who use them to get their needs met), back in time.
Somewhere in Africa, 2-4 million years ago, there were Australopithecines. Cute little shawties running around, living in small groups. They likely lacked the ability to produce language.
They were small. Things hunted them. I think it’s fair to say that survival is stressful. There were definitely moments of life-or-death frustration. They don’t have the ability to talk out their feelings and repair moments of overstepping.
Think your way through the cultures of the world. Think about who gets to make the rules. Think about what it takes to be a person of reason. Think about how well-documented the corruption of power creates a path to the unthinkable.
Whoever gets to make the rules, and enforce the rules, creates reality.
It does not matter how outlandish, or unreasonable that reality is. This is what is most common across human cultures. Take a moment to think of the cultural practices that seem most foreign to you. Each and every one of these practices originated by people who had power, not people who were “right.”
Think about these for a moment
- Circumcision (all sexes)
- Foot binding
- Other body modifications
- Bullet ant initiation
- Sky burial (feeding the deceased to vultures)
- Platform burial
- Cannibalism
- Ritual cannibalism
- Potlatch wealth displays
- The list is endless
The point is, that at some point, someone said “This is how we make sense,” to the point that others not only complied, but they compelled the compliance of generations to come.
Lore was created to justify and sustain the practices. Punishments are levied for non-participation. The stakes are life-and-death.
History is rife with examples. Art overflows with demonstrations of this mechanism of behavior.
Enough of the forest, let’s look at the leaves.
Each society functions on it’s own accepted rationale, whether or not everyone agrees with it, (spoiler, it’s impossible for everyone to agree on anything). The power structures of the society must be continually reinforced, and as such the “average” family will reflect the power structures of the society. Otherwise, how could you possibly raise the next generation to keep the machine running?
If the society is at the mercy of the dysregulated, the family will be as well, and not just the family, but also workplaces, schools, and literally all other social spaces.
This is unavoidable unless there are mechanisms to safeguard fairness, equality, logic, etc.
This is compounded by social inequalities like racism, sexism, ableism, classism, and all of the other isms.
The Mini Cult of the Ego
We’ve all heard of cults and we’re familiar with the Branch Dividians, Heaven’s Gate, Manson and the Mormon Church (actually, ALL religions are cults).
Due to the inequities of power and access to life-or-death resources, the family is prone to becoming a Mini Cult of the Ego.
Some of these cults may be benign, and mostly benefit the good of everyone involved. So then the question becomes, how do you know if you’re in a Mini Cult of the Ego (or even a big one)?
Is there anyone (or a group of people) who clearly has more power than everyone else?
Are there members who are above reproach?
Does everyone in the group account for their behavior equally?
Does everyone in the group have a choice?
Is it safe to dissent within the group?
Is it necessary to perform certain approved scripts?
Are there certain scripts that are not allowed to be performed?
Are there mechanisms built into the group to allow for everyone to have a voice and to address any abuses of power?
Is dysregulation rewarded?
Do the rules apply differently to anyone?
If you answered yes to really ANY of the questions in the list, it’s a Mini Cult of the Ego.
I’ve recently taken to referring to my family of origin as a Cult of the Ego, which has helped me understand so much of what took place when I was growing up. When I was little, everyone catered to Grandpa, and later it passed to my mother. It took decades for me to wrap my head around it (and I’ll talk about this more in my next post).
In trying to unpack my triggers, I have to admit that I went from one Cult of the Ego to another most of my life.
With me being the common denominator I’m forced to examine the role that I played in each. Nevertheless, each one compelled absolute compliance, and it’s difficult to explain how hard it is to break these cycles.
It wasn’t until recently that I’ve been able to see the much bigger picture. This is a mechanism that continues in our silence, and it’s time to put words to it.
As I explore more of my experiences in the upcoming weeks, this concept will come up relentlessly. To get a deeper look into how these Cults of the Ego compel behavior, I recommend watching some of the documentaries available out there. Specifically I will be referencing “Natalia Speaks; the curious case of natalia grace,” “Victim/Suspect,” and “The Trials of Gabriel Fernandez.”
Thank you for joining me on this journey. May understanding lead to healing.
- https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0911604416300677#:~:text=The%20australopiths%2C%20who%20lived%20mainly,test%20of%20when%20language%20appeared.
- https://humanorigins.si.edu/evidence/human-fossilhttps://humanorigins.si.edu/evidence/human-fossils/species/australopithecus-afarensiss/species/australopithecus-afarensis
- https://www.worldatlas.com/articles/the-strangest-traditions-around-the-world.html
Operation **Reclaim** Loveland 
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