Stronger Than My Collagen – The Building Blocks That Make Me
I’m 45 now. It’s been almost two years since I started this blog. There have been long gaps because of the challenges of not only being disabled, but also navigating disability, society, economy, and so much more.
I’ve had so many revelations along the way, and it has absolutely nagged at me that I need to share those revelations here.
I started out just wanting to expose all of the barriers to diagnosis/care for someone with a rare disorder. Along the way I’ve longed to also write about housing, homelessness, politics, gender, race, science, trauma, healing and more. I have had writer’s paralysis, feeling guilty about not writing here, so I wouldn’t allow myself to write there either.
In reality, as several pieces are now falling into place, it’s all intersectional. That really shouldn’t be much of a surprise. It all belongs here, especially the things that aren’t just all about me.
Participant Observation
One of my favorite things about anthropology is the use of participant observation- learning by doing. The idea is that instead of treating the behavior of others as foreign, we participate in the behavior to understand it from within.
It is truly the best place to learn from, and as a masking autistic, this was the core of my existence. (Take my word for now, but I’ll go into more detail later.) Participant observation has always been in the fibers of me, and going to University taught me how to hone it. As a result, I know a lot of stuff.
The New Objective
I will continue to write about Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, and Klinefelter’s Syndrome, and Turner Syndrome, and the lived realities of these rare and often misunderstood diagnoses. In addition, I will be writing about absolutely anything that gives a voice to the silenced, that sheds light upon the invisible, and fills the darkness with understanding.
In order to do this, I have to tell my own stories, and the stories of others.
This includes my trauma history.
Through examination of these stories I am able to find patterns, identify forces acting in a situation, and apply social science theory to further understanding.
I really needed a Safe Adult.
Trigger Warning
I may or may not have already warned you, but every single post I make after this should only be read when you’re in a place to deal with triggering topics. I intend to approach this process as an open book, and nothing will be off limits.
I have been watching a lot of documentaries lately, which have triggered me. It’s been really surprising remembering how much I’ve lived through, that no one would know if they weren’t there.
In working through those triggers, and memories, I’ve stumbled on some big revelations.
I have lived for a long time without sharing many of my experiences, because they are too traumatizing for others to hear about. None of this makes sense without these experiences, so as you proceed, please respond to your own needs.
A Mighty Mission
Moving forward, I am driven by the knowledge that the worst part of any of life’s hardships is silence. Silence amplifies suffering. Silence alienates us, creating the bedding for shame, doubt, and fear.
I will continue to fill the silence.
Operation **Reclaim** Loveland 
What do you think?